Loss

Writing:
Pre cut off (Part 1) - Dan Evans
Post cut off (Part 2) - Tom Sanford


Dan couldn’t sleep. For once in his life, he couldn’t sleep. He was tossing and turning. In his dreams, he saw images he didn’t understand. Dan saw Chris standing in some place that he didn’t recognize. He, Tom, and Ron were not with Chris. They were some place else. Dan suddenly woke up before he found out where.
“What the hell…?” he thought.
He got up and walked out of his room and headed for the kitchen. Perhaps something to eat or drink would help him sleep. Dan walked in and flipped the lights on. Inside the refrigerator was nothing that he really craved. “Eh…no more cold chicken, please,” he begged the refrigerator. He just grabbed a bag of pretzels and a soda.

He turned around, walking slowly down the hallway shoving pretzels in his mouth and guzzling cold soda. He still didn’t feel sleepy. In fact, he felt more awake now than he did before.
“Good job, Dan,” he thought to himself.
He didn’t want to try to sleep again only to see more bizarre images in his dreams. He knew there wouldn’t be anything on TV. Then he decided he’d head to Chris’ room, to see what he was up to.

Chris rarely ever slept if at all. Dan had nothing better to do. He figured he’d go and talk to the vampire hunter for a while. Dan knocked on the door.
“Hey, Chris!” Dan whispered.
“I can’t sleep and figured I’d come here for some verbal abuse.”
There was no answer.
“Come on! I got pretzels!” Dan waited for a response, but none had come. He reached for the knob and was somewhat surprised when he discovered the door was unlocked. Dan walked inside and dropped his food and drink in shock. Chris was nowhere to be found. He wondered where he could have gone. Then he noticed something sitting on up Chris’s pillow. Dan picked it up. It was a note. “Gone to find myself. Later,” the note said simply. Dan was speechless. He just sort of stood in the room and vainly attempted to grasp the situation. Finally he spoke. “Tom! Ron!”

The remaining NOMADs sat in the Debriefing Room in deep thought. Dan sat on one side with the note still in his grip. Tom sat across from Dan, running his hands through his hair. Ron was holding his chin up with his hands. None of the three were taking the news very well. “Why would he just leave?” Dan spoke out loud, finally breaking the silence.



“I’m sure he had his reasons,” Ron assured Dan. But he wasn’t so sure. Dan placed the note in the middle of the table.
“He’s always been secretive about things that he does outside of us.” Tom added. “Dan, are you okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” Dan said, scratching his head nervously.
“Cause you look like shit,” Tom said bluntly. “You’re taking this harder than I thought you would.”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
“Well, I thought you didn’t like Chris. It’s no big deal, he’ll probably be back soon anyways. ”
“He grew on me,” Dan admitted. He paused for a moment and looked at his fellow NOMADs. Suddenly Dan stood up and declared, “We have to find him!”
“YEAH! Awesome idea! Or not. Since we don’t have any idea where he is.” Tom argued.
“We can figure it out,” Dan replied. “We can’t just let him go. We can’t lose Chris without at least knowing why.” Ron only sat silent and watched them both debate. “Well, guys?”
“Maybe you’re right, Dan,” Ron said finally. “Chris is the final piece to the puzzle that we are. We’re going after him.” They looked at Tom. He was obviously unsure about the whole thing. Suddenly, a new expression came over his face. It looked like a face full of determination. “You coming along?” Ron asked grimly.
“Hell yeah. You know you’re gonna need my help,” Tom grinned. “So…where do we start?”

Ron, Tom, and Dan rummaged around in Chris’s room for anything that might have been a clue as to where he might have gone. He had left some of his belongings behind, mostly just garbage and junk, though. “There must be something here we can use,” Dan said hopefully.
“I don’t know. There’s a lot of shit in here,” Tom added. Dan couldn’t argue with that one. Ron walked over to one of Chris’s trench coats that he left behind. Ron started looking through the pockets and found bar receipts. “Hmm…look at these,” he said. “He’s been to a different bar every night this week.”
“Drinking himself to oblivion, too bad,” Dan said. He studied the receipts. “These aren’t too far from here and they aren’t too far apart.”
“So what the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Tom wondered aloud.
“Follow me,” Dan said and ran to the computer room.
Dan sat at the computer typing furiously while Tom and Ron watched intently from behind him. They were watching him bounce from website to website. He’d glance at a screen for one moment and then jump to another and do the same. Finally Tom had to ask. “What’s even the point of this?”
“I’m checking the addresses on these bars. They’re all located three blocks apart and are scattered in one general area. There’s only one bar left in that area that Chris hasn’t been to yet. My guess is he will be there eventually. Hell he might be there now. We don’t know how long ago he left,” Dan said.



“Hmm…” Ron was in thought about that statement. “Check the security logs.” Dan played the video feed from most of the night. He fast-forwarded until they saw the footage of Chris leaving. “That was two and a half hours ago or so,” Tom noticed.
“Maybe we should check out that bar…or comb the area for him,” Dan suggested.
“Then we better get moving and fast,” Ron declared. “Let’s go.”

The Hummer barreled across the Nevada desert at less than legal speeds. But they had to get to the city quickly. The atmosphere in the car was quite gloomy. The guys, all glum and depressed, did not relish the idea of having to chase down one of their own. They all had their doubts about finding Chris, who was obviously trying to be evasive in his actions. They parked the Hummer in the outskirts of the city and walked the rest of the way. There was no need to draw any extra attention to them, they were in Las Vegas enough as it was. When they got into the city, Dan pulled out the maps he printed of the city with the bars accented by red dots. They stopped at every bar and asked about Chris. All the bartenders could tell them was how long ago he was in the bar. None of the barkeeps seemed to speak about Chris with any revere. Tom wondered what Chris did to piss of these bartenders. They were starting to become discouraged as the night continued. “We have one bar left and it’s down this street,” Ron said.
“Come on. We have to check it out!” Dan said with forced enthusiasm. He ran ahead and Tom and Ron followed. The three entered the bar and saw this was a clichéd dive. There were big, hairy, and dangerous looking men all over the bar. It didn’t really affect them, they’d seen worse things, but it was dangerous, nonetheless. They couldn’t see Chris anywhere. Right as they were going to step down into the bar, they saw a waitress struggling with one of the customers. “Come here, darling. I only wants some suga to go with the drink,” the guy grunted. Tom clenched his fist. “I should teach that guy a thing or two,” Tom remarked.
“And then get the girl’s number?” Dan laughed.
“Don’t try it. That guy would snap you in two, look at the muscles on his arms.” Ron warned. “Oh yeah, you into those muscles, Ron?” Tom snapped. Ron rolled his eyes. They watched as the guy grabbed the waitress’s ass and pulled her down into his lap. As the sleezeball was trying to get a kiss, no one saw a dark figure stand behind the man. The figure suddenly grabbed the man’s hair and slammed his face into the table, breaking a beer mug in the process. The waitress leapt out of there. “Me thinks you should apologize to the lady,” the figure said. Ron, Tom, and Dan instantly recognized the voice. It was Chris. The man gurgled something and Chris pulled tighter on his hair. “What was that?” he asked.
“Son of a bitch!” the man yelled. He got up and swung a chair at Chris. He quickly dropped to the floor and kicked him in the ankle. The man fell to the ground with the chair hitting him in the head. He got up and charged at Chris. He leaned to the right and grabbed the man’s arm. Chris then socked him in the stomach and gave him an uppercut. The man was about to go at Chris again when the bartender told him and his cronies to get out. Dan, Tom, and Ron quickly got out of their way. When Chris sat back down into his dark corner of the bar, they approached him.
----------------------------------------
He waved, silently and nervously.

They weren’t expecting him to be so responsive. “Guys, how’s it goin’.” He said, signaling for them to have a seat. They all sat around the table.

The waitress came over. “Hey, thanks for helping me out before. I’m just an honest girl tryin’ to make a living, and this is the only way right now, be it in a bar full of monkeys or not. I’ll hook you guys up with a round on the house.” “Not necessary,” Ron said, pulling out the GBI credit card “but thank you anyways.”
“Sure.” She said. “Buds for all?”
“I’ll have whatever brand clear soda you guys have, instead.” Dan said, embarrassed. No one really seemed to care, though.
“No bud for me, I’ll just have a water.” Ron asked.
“Yeah gimme a hard whatever it is, cranberry sauce, cranberry juice, whatever it’s called.” Tom said.
She walked off, and returned with them a few minutes later. Silence had fallen the entire time. No one really knew what to say to each other. They all had gut feelings that this wasn’t going to be a happy future. They’d shared a lot of good times together. They didn’t really want to lose any of them, it was like a death that they couldn’t stop. Tom finally spoke. “Well man…you know we came to find you. Why’d you leave?”
“I had to. I’ve been keeping something from you guys that I didn’t want to reveal. It’s been a part of me, and I really feel it’s what’s been keeping me alive, fighting it. I’d be dead without the fight I’m putting up with.” He explained.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Dan asked, puzzled. None of them really had an idea what he meant.
“I never had family. You guys are my family. You’re my brothers, I’m your brother. We’ve really grown on each other, and I really do feel love for you guys. I didn’t know what that was like, until now. And family is great, it’s a wonderful feeling I’ve never been able to feel, that’s why I love doing this. You guys give me what I can’t have.”
“Man, I’m tellin’ you, we’ve all got inner demons. I deal with mine every day. So why would you even want to leave?!” Ron exclaimed.

“Not like mine, you don’t.” Chris responded. They all fell silent. They wanted to argue with him, but thought maybe it was useless. Maybe Chris’ demons were beyond their understanding.

Chris thought, then said “Haha you remember when we first started out. And we were all just total pricks to each other. I couldn’t stand you, Dan.”
“Well, what a surprise, he couldn’t stand you either!” Tom said.
Dan gave him a look, and said “Yeah, he’s right, but none of that matters. We’re buds now.”
“We definitely are.”
A brief silence, when Ron finally popped in. “Alright, alright, someone spiked the drinks with mood slime, I knew it.” They all laughed, sitting around.


Time passed, what seemed like hours, but may have been only minutes, it didn’t matter to them. They all laughed, reminiscing. They had been to hell and back and still managed to keep a sense of humor about it. That’s what being a Ghostbuster was all about.
They talked and talked. Laughed and laughed. None of them had been that emotionally open, ever, as far as they remembered, with everyone in the room. Chris was right about being brothers. They were. They had each others backs.
“So then I said to the guy, I says to him, “you chump…you’s a chump…” AHHHAA!!! Tom was deep and down. He wouldn’t be driving tonight.
He didn’t have a very high alcohol tolerance level, so after 3 or 4 of his cranberry sauce drinks, he was already gone. Chris had had a lot to drink that night too, but none of it seemed to affect him. Tom was tossing his head back like he was having a seizure, but it was really just him being an idiot. He got exhausted, stopped, and took a look around. His eyes flashed past everyone at the table. He named them all like a total asshole to try and prove that he wasn’t drunk.
“Ron…hehe…Ron…”
“Dan…DANIEL….”
“Chris…topher…Christopher..”
A red flash crossed over Chris’s eyes.
“Whoa…dude your eyes are red. I don’t smoke, but you do. Don’t. Don’t smoke. It gets in your lungs and SCREWS you up.”
“Haha Tom, you’re gone man, don’t pay attention to yourself.” Dan laughed.
“Yeah, haha I guess so. Bad. I’m BAD. But I must be seein’ things, Chris don’t listen to me. Your eyes are fine. Pretty like some pretty big marbles. Maaahhhbles…maaahhbles.”
Chris leaned back. His eyes again flashed. He was emotionless.
Tom widened his eyes as they were trying to force themselves shut. “Whoa man, I saw it that time, Dan, I’m not drunk, I saw it. I saw it I saw it! Didn’t you see it?”
Dan jumbled his speech, “Y-yeah…Ron did you see that.”
Ron already was on alert. “Yeah…”
Chris slammed backwards in his seat. He gripped the table, his nails sinking into the wood with incredible tight strength. His head cocked backwards, and his eyes became an illustrious red. His head shook, side to side, in short, jumping sessions. It got faster, faster, until it was hard to focus on one area of Chris’ head. They were speechless. None of them had a clue what to do. It seemed as if they were helplessly watching their own flesh and blood be torn inside out. That may have been the case. His teeth became a dark yellow, his skin extremely pale. His forehead protruded what seemed to be 2 small horns, but when focused on, they weren’t even really there. Suddenly, he stopped. He smiled, with an ear to ear grin.
Tom had sobered up in no time.
”Dude, you…is that you?” he said. “You in there buddy?”

Chris’ grin continued. He didn’t say a word. He only looked around, grin only seemingly widening, physically out of control. They just stared, nervously, hoping that it would pass and their friend would return.
“You have to come back, man. Chris, fight this. Don’t let this get you.” Ron said.


They were taking this second by second. It was a new situation, and could only be handled with extreme caution. They had to help Chris. Suddenly, he began to jerk his head from side to side.
“Oh my God, his eyes…” Dan said, crossing himself.
His eyes were wider than physically possible. They changed back and forth from a blood red to an average, elongated white. It was insane. There was nothing they could do, until it finally stopped. Chris’ head fell forward against the table, and he quickly pulled back, his mouth wide open, gasping for air.
“Chris! You made it!” Dan cried with joy. Chris breathed heavily, a look of shock on his face. “Dude, what the HELL was that…” Tom said. They all wanted to know.
“See…” he was still gasping for air. “See I told you guys, I told you. I HAVE to go. Look what this is doing to me.”
“How did this happen?!” Dan asked.
“You know about my vampire encounter. I guess I was just unfortunate. I found a demon trapped in a vampire’s body. Of all the horrible hell spawns I could run into, I find a demonic vampire. Now I have him, in my body. He transferred it. I have to fight it. I just don’t want you guys to get hurt. And that’s why I’m leaving. I’m sorry guys.” He stood up, hand on a stake attached to his belt.
“Chris, sit down man, don’t go. We can talk about this first, get you some help.”
Suddenly, the waitress came over.
“Hey, guys, a problem with your card here. It says it’s no longer a valid account.”
“What?!” Ron exclaimed. “That’s not possible, I just went and got it brand new picked up today. It’s registered for another 10 years.”
“According to this report, it’s a cancelled card.” She said to him. “Look, here at the computer, follow me.”
They followed the waitress to the bar’s cash register, computer area. She swiped it again. Nothing. Ron was starting to get heated. It had seemed that they had forgotten all about what had taken place in front of their eyes only seconds earlier. Ron pulled a phone out of his pocket, pressed an automatic dial number, and waited. The other line answered.
“Hello? Yeah, Mr. Tully, this is Ron Daniels. What’s the deal with our credit card, it’s not working.”
“Well, gee, Ron, I mean, it’d be better if you guys showed up here so we could talk about this. I don’t think you’re going to be happy.”
Ron had distanced himself from the other guys “Of COURSE I’m not going to be happy, our credit card is cancelled. And since you’re not telling me straight up that there’s a reason, I DEMAND to know what’s going on.”
Louis was silent on the other line. “Well, you know, I don’t, I’d rather you came here so I could-“ Ron stopped him in mid sentence. “LOUIS! TELL ME what is going on here!”


“Alright. Your funding has been cut. Kinkaid has pulled his funding out of GBI, and your group being taken off the list is a direct result of it.”
“Taken off the list?! We’re cut?! We can’t be! How can you do this!”
“It’s not our fault! The fact that there are still so many skeptics about what we do made the U.S. look bad, like they were giving in to something outrageous, funding for nothing.

You guys leaving your base was a major advantage to them. Anything that didn’t personally belong to you has already been cleaned out in the time that you were gone. Your hummer is gone. I hope you called for rides home, because you’re not getting it back.”
“Rides home?! That WAS our home!”
By now, the rest of the guys had been listening in. They silently figured out for themselves what had been going on.
“So we’re gone. Just like that. N.O.M.A.D. doesn’t exist.”
“I’m afraid so. You guys are a bottom list amateur franchise with no equipment. Basically, you don’t exist.”
“What do you suggest we do, Louis.”
“I’m sorry Ron. You have a job waiting for you at GBI as a consultant, but the rest of the guys, they either have to find another franchise to group with, or leave.”
“Oh, man, this is insane. Alright, I’m going. Thanks I suppose for letting me in on it.”
“There’s nothing I could do, I tried to call the president but they don’t connect calls past the information line. I figured I’d be able to get him on and tell him I was baking him a brownie butternut cake and coloring a thank you card to send him to see if he would reconsider but the lady at the desk, she just wouldn’t connect me, she said there’s no phone lines in the oval office and-“
“By Louis.” Ron hung up on him.
Dan and Tom were standing on either side of Ron. He looked at the two of them. “Where’s Chris.” He said. Shocked, they all turned around, frantically looking for him. He was no where to be found. Gone without a trace. They were somewhat shocked, but quickly adjusted, realizing that the feeling of depression was inevitable, after what had just happened. They were through. They walked outside. It was raining. Ron waved down a cab, and they all silently got in, and had the cabbie take them back to the outskirts of the base. Tom pulled out his wallet, but Ron pushed his money away. “Let me take care of this,” he said. Tom silently put his wallet back. They walked a while, focusing on their surroundings. The rain drenched them, but they didn’t care. They had been through worse than rain. Rain was a relief on the night of hell they had just gone through. It cooled the inferno. They looked at the rain clouds, the flashes of lightning. They were all thinking the same thing. This was it. It was all over. As they reached the base, Ron took out his key, and unlocked the front gate. They went inside, one by one, taking last looks around. Everything was gone. All the machinery. The containment unit had been destroyed, stripped, completely dismantled. The room was filled with a thick black soot, there was no roof anymore. The first sight of it’s state startled Dan, wondering if they had
transferred all the powerful spirits inside to a more important facility. His wondering did them good.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What?” Ron asked.
”They opened the containment unit. They let ALL those ghosts go! They’re free! God damnit!” Dan said through clenched teeth. His fists were tightened in rage.
“It doesn’t matter. All they will do is return to their original haunting grounds. Our containment unit wasn’t very full anyway, big as it was.” Ron explained.

“That doesn’t matter, man! This is ridiculous! All this hard work, helping to keep these ghosts out of people’s lives where they belong, and it’s thrown away. I’m sorry, thanks, but no thanks, I’ve had enough.” Dan ripped the official GBI issued logo off of his right shoulder. He threw it on the ground. “Ron, it’s been wild man. But I have to do this on my own. Obviously, they didn’t see what a help we were. Well, now, I’m just going to prove it to them, no matter how long it takes.” He headed for the door. Ron didn’t stop him. As he stood in the doorway, he stopped, turned around, offering one last “goodbye” to Ron, and left. Tom didn’t even see him go. He walked into the room with Ron.
“All she wrote for Dan, eh. It happens,” he said. Ron was still silent. He stood there, staring off into a seemingly endless space. Tom walked into what was his old room. He grabbed his bag with his remaining belongings. He picked up his chain, the circle with the line through it “no” symbol, and wrapped it around his hand. He picked up his gun, and looked at its clip of silver bullets. He emptied it, letting the cold silver spill on the floor. He walked out, and passed Chris’ room. It was skeletal in every aspect, except a wooden stake with a cross carved into the side on the floor. He walked in, picked it up, and shoved it into his bag. He walked back and noticed Ron, still in his trance. It was all happening way too quickly. Where would he go? And to do what when he got there? He didn’t know, but he put his hand on Ron’s shoulder.
“Hey man, you know, Chris, he’s gone to find himself. Maybe we all need to do a little soul searching.”
“Yeah…” Ron replied.
A short silence, then a final goodbye.
“No more N.O.M.A.D., huh?” Tom said, his chin rumbling.
Ron was silent. Tom could see a tear running down his cheek. Single and incredibly significant. He stood in front of Ron, looked at him, and with a firm, hearty handshake, he turned around, and walked out of the base forever. He walked up the road, looking back, and seeing Ron standing in front of the gate. As he saw Ron sat down, he took one last look from afar, and didn’t look back. He wiped tears from his eyes and walked.
He stopped, peeled off the official type two GBI patch on his uniform, and gave it one last look. He shoved it into his pocket, and continued his walk to the city.
“Hell of a ride though….”
“Hell of a ride…”